Parenting tips of Boss Mumma!

I was in for the orientation day for my 2 years old daughter and was surprised on the questions raised at the meeting by other parents. There were questions like, will you feed the children? what if they don’t eat the food? will you make them learn how to eat food? I was surprised because my child was not only eating on her own but was also toilet trained and wearing shoes on her own so it was very strange for me and made me realize that there are few things which I might be doing differently.

1.       Over caring is spoiling them: We as a parent feel that children needs too much care to grow up but the opposite is true, they need our guidance and support rather than over care. Often parents do too much to look after the child and are exhausted to the core. I have seen mother running after child to feed, some mothers feed her son or daughter until they are 10years old. Mothers feel that they are responsible for their children’s food and stuff them. When my daughter was 6 months old, (she was already sitting by them and we never forced her to sit) I would serve the food in plate and allow her to watch us eating and try eating herself. Initially I had to help her and used to be messy at times but very fast she learned how to do it by herself and she was eating on her own at the age of 1 year. Infect she was more happy and satisfied eating by herself. She can eat when she is hungry and choose to refuse to eat if she is already full.

 

 

2.       Let them learn on their own: When we go to garden and if she falls, I would give her time to get up on her own rather than screaming and rushing to pick her up. I have heard mothers screaming louder than child when they fall and it is funny for me! They are more scared than children and make children feel as if they did something miserably wrong, next time the child will be unlikely to try doing that activity again.

 

 

3.       Treat them like an adult: Believe in them, give them the space to grow. Do not give instructions all the time or tell them they can’t do it. This is the most negative thing you will do to your child. If the child is continuously fed with negative statement, they start believing in them and it is very difficult to change them as they grow older. Encourage them with smallest things they did, even taking first steps or holding a pen. Even if they break or spoil something, explain them gently.  We miserably fail in this and give so much importance on losing materialistic things rather than child’s emotional health.

 

 

4.       Allow your child to watch Cartoons or play on mobile if you are always on phone in front of them: We all must agree that we are overly passionate about the piece of electronic gadget in our hand and need to check either messages, mails or texts. It is very annoying to keep telling children that they are small and they should not use mobile so much. If you want your child to learn the joy of spending time together, you need to put aside the phone and give them time. It is not bad if children play on mobile and computer for some time or watch rhymes or favorite cartoons, if we can’t leave our phones aside, they won’t either! So, show them you care by keeping the phone aside for fixed amount of time and keep on extending that time. Important mails and messages can wait; their childhood will never come back again.

 

 

5.       Let them do all their work: Even though I have full time maid to look after my girl as I am a working mother, but the instruction to her is very clear. She will teach my child to pick up her own toys, keep the plates for washing after eating, giving water to plants, serve water when mamma papa asks for it, and keep her shoes, books & games in their places. My daughter is 2 years 2 months but she does all I mentioned above at least 75% of the time (Of course they have their mood to say no to Everything you say at times). And I am sure, when she grows up she will be responsible for all her stuffs. I may be sounding very rude, but this is how it is helping me save my time and my daughter feels happy doing chores. Involve them in day to day tasks in whichever way you can.

Making your child responsible and independent is our duty however we spoil them by over caring and over loving. Careful observation, monitoring and correcting them is a part of life and we need to be their biggest support not obstruct their growth. Do not think that they will learn when they grow up, they will learn from the very beginning and we as a parent must create an atmosphere and change ourselves to teach them what you want them to lean. Rules (Especially TV & mobile rules) in the house should be for everyone and not only for children. The best way to teach your child is to do it in front of them every time. Set yourself right, and your children will follow you. Let me tell you that they notice everything!

 

 This is my experience of raising a child from last 2 years and I may be wrong, but so far giving her sense of freedom has helped me and my family a lot. What triggered me to write this was a comment from a play group teacher that my daughter is very independent and got a student of the week certificate in just first week of joining the school.